Disneyland

I have the Disneyland hangover.  Yep, if you haven't gone, believe what they've said about Christmas in Disneyland being magical.  It's so true, it's like the merriest place on earth.  I want to go back right now and do it all over again.  Yet, I don't all at the same time and thus the topic of this post...

 After being on a magical high for five days, who wants to go back home?!   I got to spend time with my Dad and my nephew in the morning and talk with my sister, watch my niece play with my children, we loved seeing the joy on the kids faces and the christmas lights, snow and smells were magical. music playing happily all over the park, everything clean and picked up.  Coming back to the cleaned hotel room after we had a full day of fun.  The rides are so fun - especially in Fantasy Land!  Everything is just beautiful and fun! The focus is made on making  our visit a perfect one as if everyday is the last day we were there...

this is a beautiful illustration of holding onto material stuff that doesn't matter

My heart kept getting pulled back.  It wasn't like it was when I was younger.  There's such a focus on self that it started to really effect me.  I started getting frustrated at our lack of money and wanted to buy more.  Instead of feeling happy and carefree, I was becoming frustrated.

 i left feeling a loss of what we didn't have for the kids. i wanted to buy so many things for them that we couldn't afford.

now as we continue to move into Advent, I am distracted by material stuff.  I find myself praying for money for gifts,  that maybe someone will buy one of my paintings.  I want Christmas to be special.  when no one responds I find myself defeated and getting bitter.  pulling me even more away from God's word.

Hope does not disappoint me, because you, God have poured out Your love into my heart by the Holy Spirit, whom you have given me. (Rom 5:5)

 I need him every minute, not just the thought of him but his holy, living word that gives me peace and allows me to see the bigger picture.  not just gifts and temporary stuff but eternal stuff that matters.  Walk in his beauty in what he has made in nature.

My husband said it perfectly when he shared this with me: 

I am learning that when I recieve God as He is and take time to quietly spend time in Him so His peace  will  overflow, I rarely OVERFLOWI guess because I am putting an agenda on Him.Like I am going to the throne looking for energy to carry out my plan.Not asking Him what His plan is.
I guess it's about coming to Him, and repenting of what I am carrying.But I usually come, asking Him to help me with something I wasn't supposed to be doing in the first place.And so I corner Him and make Him into something He isn't.I treat Him as though He is there to serve me.
And then I wonder what the problem is.
So when I come to Him as something I wasn't supposed to be; I make Him into something He isn't.Instead of allowing Him to change me, I want Him to fix everything around me.
Instead of changing me.

I need to come with whatever I have, and ask Him to help me drop them at His feet.
And then recognize His presence, and the grace and mercy that is received in the fact that God is with us!

When I do this, it is only then that I am able to paint and find inspiration!

"There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!"  -Rom. 5:5

Believe Painting - CRI Fundraiser

I am kicking myself. I didn't get a better picture of my recent painting that was auctioned off for a fundraising event for a pre and post-release program for inmates serving in the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation. AKA California Reentry Institute (CRI) This amazing program works with men to make their transition from incarceration a successful entry back into society. "Believe" 14" wide x 22" tallAcrylic, Charcoal on stretched artist canvas 14" wide x 22" tallAcrylic, Charcoal on stretched artist canvas Inspiration:

This original painting came from what becomes of a seedling as it grows.  When a plant finally sprouts through the surface, there are things that have already taken place before what occurs above ground.  

The sprout keeps moving and growing regardless of what is happening around it.  

Our life spiritually is the same way.  God calls us to move in His sunlight and HE provides living water.  The light of his only son, Jesus Christ and the living water by His Holy Spirit within us as his children.  We must believe that through Christ we can do anything God calls us to.  

That is especially true for those going through transition after prison.  Seeking God's strength and admitting that one cannot do it on one's own efforts is key to allowing God to provide his power within the individual.  

The three circles in the painting represent God, our Heavenly Father; Jesus Christ and the Spirit of Holiness.   

The painting has many layers of paint just as our lives have many layers.  

Materials:  

Charcoal
Liquitex Phalo Blue
Americana Marigold
Polycrylic clear-gloss protective finish which provides UV protection as well has protection from water and common household cleaners.  This sealer provides protection from damage from abrasion or chipping.

A New Beginning

We have books all over our house, we love books.  Especially now that the kids are reading they're in every room of the house...kids books, Bibles, coloring books, paperback, hardback, some with words i have no idea what they mean....and I'm okay with that because they're my husband's books...but this morning I found a treasure!

In the book The Only Nessary Thing - Living a Prayerful Life,  Henri Nouwen (a Dutch priest and author) saw himself as "vulnerable but beloved child of God, who in communion with the Beloved, knew transformation and salvation."  I want to share with you what I read (pages 85-86).  This seriously, was like, better than my mug of Peets Espresso Forte!

I think this is especially appropriate as we've just gone through the 2012 Elections. I don't know about you, but I found myself anxious and biting my nails.  Why?! That doesn't help anyone (except maybe my kids - they get scratched by my nails when they're longer. I remember one time I was helping my oldest get her pjs on when she was about two years old and I poked her in the eye, I felt so bad!)

I'm excited to see what God does with this new term for our President and while we all have different political views - I hope we can all agree that we serve a bigger God - One that calls us to Him and calls us to pray for our leaders.

Listen.

We must learn to live each day, each hour, yes each minute as a new beginning, as a unique opportunity to make everything new.  Imagine that we could live each moment as a moment pregnant with new life.  imagine that we could live each day as a day full of promises.  imagine that we could walk through the new year always, listening to a voice saying to us:  

"I have a gift for you and cant wait for you to see it!"

Imagine.

Is it possible that our imagination can lead us to the truth of our lives?  Yes, it can!  The problem is that we allow our past, which becomes longer and longer each year to say to us:  "you know all; you have seen it all, be realistic; the future will just another repeat of the past.  try to survive it as best you can."  there are many cunning foxes jumping on our shoulders and whispering in our ears the great lie:  "There is nothing new under the sun...don't let yourself be fooled..."

So what are we to do?  First, we must send the foxes back to where they belong:  in their foxholes.  And then we must open our minds and our hearts to the voice that resound through the valleys and hills of our life saying:  "let me show you where I live among my people.  My name is 'God-with-you.'  I will wipe away all the tears form you eyes: there will be no more death, and no more mourning or sadness.  the world of the past has gone" (see Revelation 21:2-5)

We must choose to listen to that voice, and every choice will open us a little more to discover the new life hidden in the moment, waiting eagerly to be born.  

-Here and Now

Henri Nouwen

it's not about the destination...

I am still moving down this new road.

There are times when I'm not sure that this is what God has for me. 

Like I have been driving down a beautiful scenic highway, and then I realize I haven't seen a road sign since ...I can't remember when.

But I am still moving.  I know that.

And every now and then, when my faith is just beginning to feel weak, or I just when I start needing a new burst of encouragement, a miracle like the one I am about to describe is choreographed by Grand Designer Himself.

Or at least it revealed to me so I can see it with my human eyes.  

Because the reality is there are always miracles being choreographed.  He is always designing.  Always working.  Always creating.  Always redeeming.

And I wonder why I ever doubted.

I wonder how I could even forget all that He has already done.

I guess what it comes down to is this: I begin to doubt because I didn't see it the day before.

But who's problem is that?

Not His.

The problem is that I forget to open my eyes.

Or I forgot to pray for a heart that seeks the Designer... 

...instead of always seeking to understand the design.



And so I paint.

Sometimes I paint things I don't understand.

Other times I paint things I wish I could understand better.

But ultimately I paint because I wish to be closer to my Father Painter.  I want to participate in Creation, and long to relate to HIM more.  And in doing so be closer to Him.

What takes place here is very real and something I believe God does all the time.

We just need to have the eyes with which to see.  Eyes like His.

So it came about that I was reading through James...

In his great mercy  he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,  and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power  until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.  In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire —may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Then, FIRE came to me as I listened to a speaker at our church, Donna, speak on "Living life with a heart BLAZING with love for God."  

I want to be on fire like this!

Moreover, I want to blaze!

Layers of charcoal and acrylic paint

I want the desire within me to be unquenchable.

"A fire shall always burn no the altar; it shall never go out" -Leviticus 6:13

I want to let go of sin, malice, deceit, envy, slander, hypocrisy, anything that smothers my longing for God's word.  

I've been offered a trade in the Cross.  So I accept.  

All my "junk" in exchange for LOVING DEEPLY, being filled with HOPE, and completely TRUSTING in God. 

The fuel source to my fire, is Jesus, the living "cornerstone". 

So I got out my canvas, and went out in the backyard - so I could get messy! I used warm colors and the word - BLAZE - as my foundation.  

After the paint dried I applied a charcoal sketch of a silhouette praying, soon it became a woman.

Now, I should explain once again here that every time I am commissioned with a painting, with every brushstroke, with every drying layer of paint, and every brand new wet one, I am soaking the canvas in God's Holy Word, and praying His Will over the recipient - as I have learned long before not to pray my own thoughts and mere wishes.  So everyone who gets a painting from me receives not just a painting, or a portrait but an "altar" of sorts that prayerfully reveals another part of who God is.

It is so amazing the way God places someone on my heart.  In this particular time, I wasn't working on a painting that someone asked for - unless you count it from God Himself.  But my point is that no human asked this of me.  And this where the miracle begins to take shape.

The woman became someone I know.

As I began sealing the charcoal into the canvas so I could apply another layer of paint, I began praying for her.  As the painting started coming together, I thought more and more about her sweet family.  I prayed for them; specifically, my friend, the woman in my church and her Holy calling as their mother.  I prayed for her two beautiful daughters and their hearts.  The Holy Spirit brought this woman to my heart and throughout the whole process of the painting I prayed for her.

As the colors begin to mingle, I put in light blue, yellow which turned to green for growth and continued with the warm tones.  I painted circles around the silhouette that resembled the Holy Spirit that is around and in us as believers in Christ.  

A cross emerged.

This is amazing....I posted the unfinished painting pics on my facebook page, I wanted to share it through the process.  Immediately, I received a message from the woman I had been praying for!!  

I etched into the paint cross hatches that resembled scars.

She shared that she was reminded of God's love for her and that we are as close as a prayer and that it really touched her.  

Now,  I don't need to explain the Holy Spirit and how God speaks to us to tell you this was ALL His work!  God's holiness and power is way beyond my comprehension...all I know is that God is amazing and works in each of our lives when we surrender to His calling.

I had several offers for the painting but I already knew that she was the one God was calling me to sell it to.  

"Blaze" 30 'x  40"  Acrylic on canvas

Shine

UPDATE :) !

Children abandoned in Vizag, India

I love when I get the opportunity to bless someone with my art...but over 100 children? 

I am so honored and excited  to share with you that "Shine"  was purchased at a Charity Auction in an effort to raise funds for a group that is going to serve in an orphanage of over 100 children through Children of Faith Missions in Vizag, India.  This Christian organization is working to supply these children with opportunities to develop life-skills they need to become productive and independent adults.

"Shine" 16 x 20  Acrylic on stretched canvas  2012 

"We love your painting! Great addition to our home art collection."   

 - Cindy and Mark, Walnut Creek,  Ca

Thank you to my friend, Mary for allowing me to serve God through my art and also a thank you to Cindy and Mark for purchasing the painting.

____________________________________________________________

I'm not finished, but I wanted to show ya'll what I'm working on:)

"Shine" is one of two paintings that I'm currently working on.  I started it early in September when I was thinking on how blessed we are to have the Holy Spirit,  God's light and counselor, shining through us!  

There are nights where I can't sleep because I'm so excited for what God is doing in my life.  

As a result of His love, I want to shine, I want to create and encourage those around me. 

David Crowder says it so sweetly  in his song "SMS [Shine]".   I have no idea what the title means... cryptic.   So, I found this article from the website sbc Impact to be really helpful and totally applies to what this painting is about (so cool when God does that!)...

SMS [Shine] bears a strange title. Shine is easy enough to decipher since it is drawn from the chorus. SMS is a little more mysterious. SMS stands for Short Messaging Service and is more commonly known as text messaging. This makes sense because the song does consist of short statements and plays out as a prayer to God from someone who is seeking Him. Yet a more complete understanding of the title is that it is taken from the first few words of the song: Send Me a Sign.

The first verse and chorus echoes many of the personal psalms of David pleading with God for support. Just as Psalm 86:17 begins, “Show me a sign of your favor…,” this song begins asking God for a sign, no matter how subtle, of God’s presence.

Hope that helps you understand the song better...did for me :) 

Take a moment to watch the music video below for the song SMS [Shine].  (totally reminds me of being a kid - you'll see why).

Starting out the canvas with Quinacridone Magenta & Ptalocyanine blue

I drew (doodled) over the dried paint with vine charcoal.  I originally drew images that came to me. Then sealed in the charcoal with  MINWAX Water-Based Polycrylic spray  before adding more layers.

"Shine" 11 x 14 Acrylic, Charcoal on Canvas


On the left is the sun over the world.  The dove on the right is flying over darkness with drops of light coming out.  In the middle of the painting is a waterfall of God's love.  I will post again when I've finished.

Please let me know your thoughts! 

Thanks for looking! 

Thank you all!!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28 (NIV)

Hi There! Hope you're all having a wonderful day!  It's so beautiful outside with big poofy clouds and the crisp fall weather.  

Thank you for reading this, seriously.  For your support in my store on Etsy,  for liking my facebook page.   My number of followers are growing and I'm so humbled.

Seeking to learn more of what it is to be an artist and creating inspiring art has been so gratifying (and stretching)!   This has been a HUGE step of faith for me (and our family). 

 We are trusting minute by minute in God's calling.  I know God has called me to be an artist and be home with our children.  Daily, God is confirming that for us.  One of the ways He is showing us is through your support.

I'm so thankful for you.

this just made me smile! 

I really love hearing from you! I know some of you are shy and haven't commented, but I love it when you do!   Lord only knows the encouragement that gives me (well, maybe my husband too)!

My sole purpose is to bring glory to God.  He brought me here, as a result, I create to praise our Lord, its a part of my worship.  However, hearing from you blesses me as well!  Creating and putting my art out there has been very challenging - and leaves me in a vulnerable position.  Putting a price on my art is probably THE hardest thing to do - I don't have another job, this is it. When God brings someone to me that's interested in one of my paintings,  wants me to do a personal painting from their ideas or a portrait of a loved one, I thank God.   It's all from HIM.  It's so amazing and pays our bills! :)

I am so thankful for you - dear friend, for your encouraging words.  It has meant the world to me.

I want to offer you a little coupon for your support!

Come and stop by the Cup O' Jo Coffee House in Downtown Clayton

on Main Street in Downtown Clayton

Take a look at the paintings.  There's still five up.  I had the opportunity to donate one to raise funds to pay for a young girl's heart & lung transplant.  You can find out more about it here.

I will give you 10% off of the price of one of my paintings of your choice!  (If you're outta town, let's work something out)

For more details send me a note :)

You can reach me at mel.inspiredlife@gmail.com message me on facebook or you can go to my store on the Etsy website.

Thanks!  Have a fun day! :)

Letting go

Thirty-Seven

Yep, I'm 37 years old...it's a good thing :)

Lately, though, like within the past couple of years, birthdays have been different for me.

Not so party-ish...(although, that's fun too!)

This year it was contemplative.

Letting go of the unhealthy and walking in the new.

For me, letting go isn't easy...

• Letting go of my career as a director of a pregnancy center...

• Letting go of being understood - it's okay you don't need to know :)

• Letting go of the desire to always have a clean house... (a daily struggle)

• Letting go of HGTV and Satellite television.... (harder than it sounds

 Letting go allowed me to see what God has done:

• allowed me to stay home full time which has opened up my ability to paint and create.

• God has brought me to a place of trusting him to defend me, no longer worrying about others.  He will take care of those I love and deal with the ones that are difficult.

• He has grown a pure and simple hunger for His word in me and as a result I am not relying on food - He is my strength.

• I have energy and a renewed hope.

• I have been eating so well and enjoy exercising and jogging again!

And yet.... i am sad because of the bitterness that was revealed, that has taken root.

I didn't even know it was there!

Like, when there's like a little piece of spinach in your teeth...like that.

Just frustration over life stuff, you know, the stuff that is in the way back of the closet and just sits back there like and an old dusty High School Yearbook.  Stuff that I have NO control over and should let go of.  Yet, I let envy and anger just eat at me.

Then the tears came.

Cleansing.

I want to be so much more than this, what God has created me to be.

I love what Sarah Young writes in Jesus Calling...

"To live in My Presence consistently, you must expose and expel your rebellious tendencies.  When something interferes with your plans or desires , you tend to resent the interference.  Try to become aware of each resentment, however petty it may seem. Don't push those unpleasant feelings down; instead let them come to the surface so you can deal with them.  Ask my Spirit to increase your aware of resentful feelings.   Bring them boldly into the Light of my Presence, so that I can free you from them."

The tears came harder.

"Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good"   (1 Peter 2:1-3)

I want to let go of this junk thats weighing me down.

I'm thankful for where God has taken me and the healing he has brought...and yet, there's still the mourning of what isn't there, of what I have not yet attained.  In my timing.  My agenda.

My, my, my.

Bleh.

Who am I?

 ^"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God;  once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."   (1 Peter 2: 9-10)

It is a daily process of handing it over.


Being proactive in my time with God.

I cannot sit by and be a victim, I must go to Him.

I submit to God's word and prayer gives me strength. His authority in my life.

He has never let me down, He's always been there, always.
I'm grateful for what He has given me and I praise Him.  All good things in my life - my husband,  our family,  friends,  health,  my art - are gifts from God.

More tears...this time happy ones :)

It's all in His strength and not my own.

I'm stepping out now in faith that God will meet me and trusting those He's put in my life for accountability, for counsel, for truth...

And as much another birthday reminds me  of how far I have to go... I am learning that letting go and losing can be a great thing.

Just ask my scale. :)

Reaching Always Reaching

Happy Monday! 

On my jog this morning, I played this song over and over - I l.o.v.e. this song and the lyrics:

Baptize my Mind
Reaching always reaching
Never reaching solid ground
Seeking always seeking
Never seeking what I've found

Hey, baptize my mind
Hey, baptize my eyes
Hey, baptize my mind
For these seeds to give birth to life
First it must die

Both my hands are filled with guilt
(Be my absolution)
Oh with my eyes are blind with filth
(Be my absolution, absolution)

Hey, baptize my mind
Hey, baptize my eyes
Hey, baptize my mind
For these seeds to give birth to life
First they must die

Hey, baptize my mind
Hey, baptize my eyes
Hey, baptize my mind
For these seeds to give birth to life
First they must die

I had a long Sunday morning at church.  Our small group was up front sharing in the first hour-so the kids and I went early.  Bryan teaches the first hour in church so I usually sit with him for the second hour of worship.  Which meant that I got to hear the sermon twice.  I don't mind that though, more chances for God's word to smack me around and sink into my hard heart.  

Pastor Shawn talked about Saul's conversion...he knew the law and hated Christians.  He was "full throttle" for what he thought was the right thing to do.  What I realized is that I have been like Saul in that I've lived my life trying to measure up, trying to please God with my actions.   I've thought if I knew scripture better, I would grow more and thus LOOK like a stronger Christian.  

 It's not about my actions or my faith.  We have are shielded by God's power and He has called us to Him - simply worship in His presence.  I love the reassurance of knowing that what I have in our Lord will never fade out.  

In his great mercy^(N) he has given us new birth^(O) into a living hope^(P) through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,^(Q) 4 and into an inheritance^(R) that can never perish, spoil or fade.^(S) This inheritance is kept in heaven for you,^(T)5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power^(U) until the coming of the salvation^(V) that is ready to be revealed^(W) in the last time." 1 Peter 1:3-5

As I was out this morning I was reminded of how many times I go back to my own understanding...my own will...my own strength.  Lord knows how crazy my thoughts are.  Seriously all over the place!  He knows I think about Him too... I don't always have time to spend reading the Bible.  He made me, He understands that right?

Wrong.

He DOES understand me; but in understanding the true me, He also knows that I NEED HIM.  Even when I think I don't.  I am not DOING the right thing or being "good".  That's all the more reason to come to him - Doubt and all.   It's about transformation in Him, not my works or my strength.  

Just trusting.   Even when I can't see or understand.  He is still there. I am still with Him.  Reading his word reminds me of that.

⁶ In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸ Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹ for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

The little while to me says a LIFETIME.  It's a lifetime of struggle and misunderstandings...we live in a flawed world.  

Just like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football that Lucy is holding...we can't put our trust in others or in this world. 

We have a HOPE though! There's more than this life! 

Just recently I realized that the Israelites in the Old Testament is about you and me.  I've always looked at them as history and not as smart as me ;) Like, oh, they had to make those silly choices cause they were in a dirty desert and had to ride on stinky camels and stuff... bunch of whiners.

But what hit me was that this life, now, right now, is like what they went through...the desert, trusting in Moses and God...we go through the same things.  Don't we?  Many times, I don't realize it until I've spend time in prayer, reading my Bible and with my small group.

I want God to baptize my mind - I want to go "full throttle" for Jesus.  In order for this to take place in our lives, we must let the other stuff that pulls us away from our Lord go. All those things must die.

Hang in there, trust in the One who made you, He will never fail you.

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, He who is coming will come and will not delay…(see Habakkuk 2:3,4).”

Art Journal - Fall collage

I am excited for Fall! I love this season...the warm colors, smells, and early nights.  So, I was very excited when my friend Kari asked me to do a fall color painting for her! 

  Her only request was that it be in fall colors... Yippeee!   

I bought this really cute embroidered skirt at a thrift shoppe a while back.  Recently it was torn...my son said that a rat chewed on it in the garage - I'm choosing to think that it got tangled in the dryer and tore...I didn't want to throw it away and thought it would look cool in a painting:

I decided to test this out in my art journal first...I started by clipping my page back with a black clip, then duct taping the bookfold so the pages wouldn't get too wet and pull out...

then, I used my Quick Dry  Tacky Glue to put the fabric down and used a sponge brush to spread the glue out.

Put gesso down over the fabric to seal it in and so the paint wouldn't soak through & blow dried for quicker time...

skirt fabric with gesso

I chose to put book text that has to do with grace in families into the page and hand cut leaves my note says "I pray for grace and kind words in our family".  This is a minute - by - minute prayer of ours for our marriage and our children.  So many times, we can get tired and short tempered and need the strength of our Lord to help us love one another.  It's only through his almighty strength.  

I love the colors and texture of this page.

Paints that were used:
Americana Marigold
Americana Honey Brown
Amsterdam Carmine
Amsterdam Titanium Buff Deep

I really had fun and loved the outcome of this.  I love the texture and deep colors...I'm definitely using this in my painting:)  Thanks for checking it out, I hope to hear from ya!